WHAT UP INTERNET? Before we commence to melting your brain in a good way, I must apologize for not carving a fresh groove on the Holy Hagiographies of the Moist Graffiti last week. Although there are no acceptable excuses for failing to provide 100% pure powdered journalism on a weekly basis, unfortunately I was busy researching a cure for tattoo gun-contracted Hep C while rescuing my cat from the jaws of a North American alligator strung out on krokodil. Needless to say, it’s good to be back in the hood.
For those of you who don’t regularly dine on disco pop rock(s), Two Door Cinema club is a cute little band from (squints at map)… Donaghadee,* County Down, Northern Ireland. For those of you who do not regularly attend concerts with a Northern Irishman, (1) yes, there is a Northern Ireland, (2) it’s quite distinct from Regular Ireland, and (3) County Down is not a comfy variety of mattress stuffing. The Northern Irishman in question is none other Moist Graffiti’s own
God Emperor Co-Executive Editor Schnitzel B. The Schnitz was jones-ing to scribe this review on the Mystifying Manuals of the Moist Graffiti, but sadly our conflict of interest rules disqualified him. Tsk, tsk Schnitzel… everyone knows that the entire population of Donaghadee are cousins, ya cheater.
Since releasing their sophomore joint Beacon** Two Door Cinema Club has been a touring band with a recording hobby. Illustrative of this notion is the fact that last night was my and S.B.’s fourth time over six occasions to see them live, respectively. In under two years. Yeah. None of this served to diminish our excitement, however, as we gathered ourselves and sped downtown to the Bayou Music Center of the Damned for yet another dose of Gap dressing room rock. Besides S.B. and Auntie Pesto, along for the ride was none other than Jules, my female co-generational genetic analog. When questioned as to how she developed interest in the band, she instantly replied:
“Uhh. I bought their first album because it had a cat on it.”
Touché, Jules. Creepy physical resemblance aside, perhaps we’re related after all.
We marched into the BMC just as St. Lucia took the stage, wherein a South African dude with a sweet haircut sang emotional platitudes while an undulating girl played the keyboard. It was moderately okay. The band seemed a little out of tune with itself, however, as, well, the drummer kept taking off early. The group also continually made threatening gestures at the off stage sound crew throughout the set. At points their wild waves and maddening cutting motions made me think they were going to start casting spells and shit, but sadly they could only manage Accio Mediocre.
St. Lucia departed quickly enough and we sipped another round of $9 Ziegenbocks. My cup smelled faintly of that sour trashwater smell that you get when garbage marinates in the sun for too long. I kept drinking it though. Of note to S.B. and me was the fact that the crowd was noticeably more mature than usual, as past shows were packed with 14 year olds and their Michelob sipping MILF chaperones. My relief at this realization was short-lived, however, as a gaunt dude who looked like the guy from Powder if H.R. Giger drew a picture of him lumbered over to us and started bro-dancing with a square-jawed lady friend. It was k tho.
Soon enough the country boys from County Down took the stage and started shredding. It’s worth noting that TDCC makes a shitload of complex noises for a (technically) three piece band, so when they tour a mysterious drummer named Benji takes a seat behind them. Additionally, it inevitably becomes evident at points during their performance that a backing track is (usually) playing minor-key synth chords or just making noise generally. Alas, the upshot of having a backing track for any band is the limitation it places on improvisation, extended jams, etc., and Two Door’s shows have historically been no exception.
Still, Alex Trimble and his mates consistently rip off a tight set showcasing their uptempo jams and played the meat of Tourist History, Beacon, and the title track off their new EP Changing of the Seasons. While not exactly a fair ground for criticism on S.B. and I’s behalf, we noted that TDCC’s set has remained virtually unchanged since Beacon‘s release in August 2012. This congruency extends all the way to the end of the encore, wherein Alex slowly sings the introduction to “What You Know” under a soft spotlight before launching off into the main rift. Come on lads, let’s at least shuffle the tracks or throw in a cover now and again! Similarly, the light show was functional but didn’t include any standout moments. Not to sound jaded given my abundant zest for life, but the only differences between last night’s show and the other three I’ve seen were that the venue and ticket price were four times larger, respectively.
That said, on balance we had a solid time thanks to the solid company, and Jules enjoyed the hell out of her first TDCC live experience.
Moist Graffiti Rating
Venue: Bayou Music Center. How I loathe thee: 43.861
Audience: Fewer chances of accidentally committing chimo felonies cancelled out greater chance of committing Assault of a Drunken Bro: 65.441
Songs: A well-practiced set of all your favorite toe tappers: 82.988
Band: Friendly enough but mostly business. Alex Trimble takes ginger to new physical and mental levels: 74.111
Average 66.6 (spooky)
Lack of improvisation, covers, or less common songs: -4
Ginger NORTHERN IRISH PRIDE, DAMMIT: +2
MG Rating: 64.6
As always it’s been a divine pleasure to have you with us for another journey into the Tumultuous Tempests of the Moist Graffiti. Stay tuned until later this week, WHEN I REVIEW A TOTALLY AWESOME MIXTAPE THAT CAME OUT THIS WEEK HOLY SHIT I’M EXCITED B.
*Pronounced “Don-a-kha-dee.” lolwut.
**MG Throwback Score: 70.142
***”Sleep Alone,” “Undercover Martyn,” “Do You Want It All?” “This is the Life,” “Changing of the Seasons,” “Wake Up,” “Come Back Home,” “Spring,” “Sun,” “Pyramid,” “I Can Talk,” “The World is Watching,” “Next Year,” “Something Good Can Work,” “Handshake,” “Eat That Up, It’s Good For You.” Encore: “Someday,” “Cigarettes in the Theatre,” “What You Know.”